Attitudes that Will Keep You Frustrated with Your Hair

​Going natural is a learning experience and things can get emotional. Re-learning how to manage and style your hair after years of relaxing can be a challenge, and it can be made more difficult depending on your attitude. Here are  attitudes that will keep you frustrated at your hair.


Ah, impatience. We’ve all dealt with it, whether it’s waiting to grow out those last few inches, sitting through an hour long detangling session or trying to master the art of flat twisting. It can be easy to let impatience get the best of you but consider that you are in a process of re-learning your hair and it’s just going to take time. Anticipate that the first two years of journey might be bumpy and progress may sometimes seem slow. If you did a big chop, you won’t have back length hair right off the bat. If all you know how to do is flat iron, then natural hair styling and maintenance techniques will take time to learn. But don’t fear! Many veteran naturals have their routines down to a science, and spend less and less time on their hair as the years go by. There’s light at the end of the tunnel!

Compensating for your hair

Some women don’t like what they find on the other side of the big chop. They might have expected looser curls and ended up with a tight z pattern, or wanted hair that grows up and out, and ended up with soft hair that flops down. A kneejerk reaction can be to get a dye job, do a press and curl or put in a weave. Although none of these practices are bad in and of themselves they can do damage to your hair and sense of self when used as a perceived ‘compensation’. If you are feeling disappointed or unhappy with your natural hair try getting to the bottom of your dissatisfaction, and adjusting your outlook. And realize that changing your perception of what is beautiful will take some effort.

Stubborn Defensiveness

When you read natural hair articles or hear natural hair ‘gurus’ talking, it can be tempting to be defensive and discredit them. You might think; ‘What do they know?’ or ‘And who are they to tell me how to take care of my hair?’ While you certainly shouldn’t believe everything you read, it’s important to have some humility. If you’ve tried taking care of your hair, and it’s not where you want it to be, there’s nothing wrong with admitting you don’t have all the answers and trying new advice.


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